Earthlight Magazine / Books / Home
Copyright © 1996 by Helene Brenner and Laurence Letich
All rights reserved. Inquiries should be addressed to
Twelve Star Publishing, P.O. Box 123, Jefferson, MD 21755
Earthlight Magazine / Books
/ Home
Copyright © 1996 by Helene Brenner and Laurence Letich
All rights reserved. Inquiries should be addressed to
Twelve Star Publishing, P.O. Box 123, Jefferson, MD 21755
Most of us have heard the old saying, "The answers
to all your problems are within you." The problem is, we
don't know how to access that knowledge. Yet there is an extremely
effective and remarkably gentle way to unlock all that wisdom
inside us, helping us lead the kind of brave and authentic lives
we really want. It's called Focusing.
Focusing is a mind-body technique that involves a very special
way of paying attention to one's inner feelings and body sensations.
Focusing is practiced while sitting comfortably, with eyes closed
or looking down, for ten minutes to an hour, either alone, or,
preferably, while another person listens and helps the process
along.
Focusing is based on research conducted by psychologist Eugene
Gendlin, Ph.D., and further developed by Ann Weiser Cornell, Ph.D.,
author of the recent book, The Power of Focusing (New Harbinger
Press, 1996). Focusing teaches how to access, and use to best
advantage, a remarkable treasure-trove of inner bodily wisdom
known as our "felt senses."
Felt senses are different from either thoughts or ordinary feelings.
They're subtler, "fuzzier," and slower to form.
Felt senses are part of our evolutionary heritage. They're the
way our bodies experience the life that we're living. They're
the intelligence we would rely on if, like animals, we didn't
have language to structure our thoughts. Animals are always living
from their felt senses. Like the Zen master who was asked to describe
what satori (enlightenment) is, they "eat when they're hungry,
drink when they're thirsty, and sleep when they're tired."
We humans have been given the great gift of higher intelligence,
but we often use our mental abilities to shut out rather than
augment our body's animal wisdom. Thus we lose vital information
on how to live in a healthy and sane way. Felt senses provide
precise information about who we are, where we are, and what we
need to do next. Best of all, unlike our minds, they don't deceive
us.
Charlene's Story
"Charlene" worked for years to reach a position in her
company where she could mentor others and make a positive impact.
Yet she found herself exhausted, full of self-criticism and secretly
hating those who appreciated her most. Her first impulse was to
increase her self-criticism. "Why do I always sabotage myself?"
she said. "I'm such a perfectionist. I never let anybody
give to me. Maybe I can't handle this job."
When she sat down to Focus on this issue, she first asked herself
what the problem felt like in her body. In a while she could sense
something that she called a "hollow tension" in her
stomach. As she quietly stayed with that, she felt her hands grow
cold and her heart pound. She realized she was afraid.
After a time of simply accepting and acknowledging the fear, she
asked herself, "Afraid of what?" Her head immediately
answered, "afraid of success," but she knew that wasn't
right -- it didn't feel right. So she sat and waited, and in about
two minutes an answer appeared that immediately caused huge tears
to well in her eyes and a cry to catch in her throat. "I'm
afraid of being taken advantage of," she said.
Her new position had touched off a fear of exploitation that dated
from when she was sexually abused by a father who said he "needed"
her. While she had done a great deal of recovery work before,
she had no idea the abuse was behind her present problems at work.
With this new understanding, her exhaustion went away, and she
was able to gracefully embrace the mantle of her new job.
The Inner Relationship
There are many different ways Focusing helps us access and use
this inner wisdom, but two are especially important.
The first is a patient, welcoming acceptance of our inner experience,
whatever the feeling. Not to argue with it, debate it, deny it,
fight it, minimize it or ignore it. Just accept it. So, step one
of Focusing is to sit quietly and identify what we are feeling
-- "Yes, I am afraid of my boss," or, "I have this
nervous, jittery feeling in the pit of my stomach," and then
do nothing -- not a single thing -- to make it go away, or even
explain it, but simply pay attention to it. Because it's there
to tell us something important.
But accepting all of our feelings, or felt senses, isn't enough.
We need to develop an inner relationship with them. While still
accepting our feelings, we can acknowledge that they're only a
part of us. We can say to ourselves that, "A part of me is
afraid," or "There's a feeling of sadness in my chest."
Then we can, in a sense, "keep company" with the part
of us that's angry or sad (just as we would with a very good friend
who's feeling troubled), and listen compassionately to what "it's"
going through. We call this dis-identification, and it's key to
the healing process in Focusing.
The idea that we have separate, living "parts" inside
may sound a bit odd. After all, didn't we hear as schoolchildren
that "crazy" people had "split personalities,"
who talked to themselves? Yet it's precisely the knowledge that
our hurt, incomplete, unresolved feelings and problems do not
make up our totality that gives us the power to heal.
When we move out of total immersion in painful or angry feelings
and just be with them, then even strong, painful and confusing
emotions gradually give way to felt senses, filled with meaning,
subtlety, clarity and wisdom. Our frozen emotions become free
to shift, to change, and to heal.
It's part of the human condition to have hurt, uncertain and unheard
parts of ourselves inside -- they never completely go away. At
the same time, however, there is always a Central Self that ties
together all that we are, and that is capable of bringing compassionate
awareness, understanding, and healing to any and all those hurting
and split-off inner places.
Focusing gives the Central Self a chance to do its healing work.
Over time, Focusing strengthens the Central Self, as it becomes
easier and easier for us to accept and pay attention to felt senses,
and as more and more of the hurt and denied parts get heard and
accepted.
A Great Equalizer
Since Focusing is different from either thinking or feeling, it's
a great gender equalizer. Men find that Focusing helps them become
aware of their inner feelings and sensations without becoming
them. Women who are highly insightful find that Focusing is a
new skill. Most women find Focusing offers more depth, perspective,
clarity and balance than the usual "talking through feelings."
For those of either sex who feel they're "too sensitive,"
Focusing can help bring this great inner gift under conscious
control.
Focusing has been used with people in recovery to reclaim the
positive aspects that are hidden within the addiction. Action
blocks respond well to Focusing, since they almost always involve
some inner conflict. And while it doesn't cure Attention Deficit
Disorder, it's tremendously helpful to bring order to the swirl
of emotions and sensations within.
Focusing is simply one of the gentlest, yet most powerful and
life-changing mind-body practices known today. The answers to
all your problems are as close as closing your eyes, breathing,
and listening openheartedly to the subtle messages of truth within.
Helene Brenner, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and director
of Women's Counseling and Psychological Services in Frederick,
MD. (301-695-5858). She offers Focusing along with more traditional
psychotherapy approaches. Laurence Letich (301-607-6759)
teaches Focusing to groups and individuals, coaches for people
with Attention Deficit Disorder, and is a nationally published
writer on psychological, social and political issues. Together
they run the Mid-Atlantic Focusing Alliance (MAFA), which offers
workshops to individuals and couples. Their next introductory
workshop on Focusing is scheduled for Feb. 1 - 2, 1997.
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